Courage is a funny thing. It’s scary and brave at the same time.
Normally I like to feel one emotion at a time and often reject to feeling two, especially two that are so opposing. While I sat with both of these feelings early this morning I realized that as different as they are, they are also the same and I understood the fact that I don’t think I could have one without the other. It dawned on me that… that everyone felt both scared and brave when acting on courage they were just more comfortable with holding both opposing feelings, it almost spurred them on. While for me, up until this point the two feelings tore me apart.
It’s weird to suddenly embrace feelings you’ve tried to push away for so long, I thought to myself ‘does this mean my whole life I’ve been trying to be have courage and my mind rejected it’ did I shut my own self down when my intuition was telling me something else because I couldn’t cope with two opposing feelings?
A little overwhelming isn’t it? I’m glad I had this moment of brightness and realization today because I do feel I’ll need all the courage I can muster up to be and become me and live the life I want and I honestly think that’s true for everyone. It’s cool though because once I embraced feeling scared it sort of went away and turned into hope and excitement.
“But no one except Lucy knew that as it circled the mast it had whispered to her, “Courage, dear heart,” and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan’s, and with the voice a delicious smell breathed in her face.”― C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
I was reminded of this quote from C.S. Lewis, I love it and most people know the part that says ‘Courage, dear heart’ but I love that he ends it all with “and with the voice a delicious smell breathed in her face”. I think it was the smell of freedom and empowerment. Sometimes we just have to breath, trust, let go and… let life happen and that must be the sweetest smell of all.
(photo from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/katyaford/5744200854/in/photostream/)