i’ve been avoiding writing this post for a few days now because i felt like i didn’t have my thoughts all sorted on the subject. and to be real honest i still don’t.
i understand that feelings are fleeting but lately i have been feeling so defeated by e v e r y t h i n g.
i know it’s a little cheesy to write with the definition of the word but because i have been feeling so defeated i wanted to see what the word exactly meant- to you know see if i was mislabeling my feelings.
the definition for defeat is to ‘win a victory over someone’ and the word defeated means ‘having been beaten’. hmm…
you see the cool thing about definitions is that it gives you a little more context and a little bit of a different perspective. once i read those i decided that if i did indeed feel defeated it was only because i was letting myself feel that way not because anything or anyone had actually defeated me. i have been defeating myself.
don’t you hate that? i seriously (X 100) am my own worst enemy. do you see what i’ve done? i’ve basically been torturing myself for the past week because i kept telling myself i was defeated when there was no reality in it.
have you ever done this? do you ever feel like your own worst enemy?
i think the hard part is the fact that i’m really introverted meaning i like to think in my head more than i like to share out loud – thus thoughts like these can live inside for very long periods of time.
to help counteract this here are some antonyms for defeat:
if i were to be really honest with myself and with you, i’d have to say that i’m much more in tune with those words then i am with letting people or my environment lord over me. why is it then that i so easily accept the negative over the positive– because in all honestly i’m kind of winning at adult life and while my situation isn’t perfect i’m doing pretty alright. for some reason i can’t admit that to myself most of the time and i just don’t want to accept that any more.
it’s only through reflection, questioning and action that we can make a change and while this is a minor one I am thrilled to shift from such a defeated attitude to one of accomplishment and success. “like attracts like” so good riddance defeat and hello achievement. i have big plans for 2014 and i don’t need to be taking cigarette breaks (no I don’t actually smoke) with defeat. ain’t no body got time for that.
there you have it, i hope this helps you get out of your head a little bit and shift perspectives. i know i REALLY needed the reminder that i’m doing pretty okay.
a good friend shared this song with me today and i thought it was so fitting to the thoughts of being defeated. you may hate/love this song but it’s definitely my kind of music because at heart i’m really just a barefoot dust bowl baby. (what?!) it’s true.
plus- it’s like a really great video right? yum.
cheers people and cheers to my new favorite thing of cutting negative people, thoughts and things from my life.