Archive for August, 2011

Everyone is everything

Today everyone is everything. Bloggers, writers, painters, photographers, comedians, advocates and humanitarians. For the most part this is a good thing for mankind, it means people are seeing the importance and beauty in things. It also means collectively we are believing in ourselves and putting it all out there. That’s pretty cool.

 Cool as in… way to go humans!

At the same time I find it a little trendy, a little generic and most of all impossible to know what or how to create anything your own. Now I know that everything in the world has been done, and that we don’t just come up with our own ways, but yet re-discover them. Still, from reality TV stars who become Food Network faces to blogging sensations gone book authors—    how do you know what is ‘right’ for you, how do you pick something to be really good at?

I’m one of those people who believe that it’s better to be really good at one thing rather than dabbling in everything. But in a time/society where everyone is everything how do you know which path is for you? How do you choose and choose well enough that you believe in yourself?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I really wish I did.

Commitment, is the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself. In 2011 when we are all engaging ourselves in multiple tasks and things all day long how do you truly develop the right areas of your life? Yeah, I know discipline but that’s so much easier said than done.  I have this new neighbor who is about the same age as me and into everything trendy, cool and about filmmaking- likes to write, likes to direct, likes to act, likes to film, but also really likes to paint, and dabble in sculpture, music and fashion trends. Is it just me but doesn’t that sound extremely exhausting. I don’t really think that a person can fully succeed in all of those areas. Shouldn’t we learn about ourselves, ask ourselves the hard questions – really get to know ourselves and then devote our time, energy and focus to one creative outlet or purpose? 

Am I totally wrong here? Am I just some weird type of person who can only handle one thing at time and that having 5 or 6 different creative outlets/passions etc… is totally normal and healthy? Again, I’m not talking hobbies, I’m talking things that define us: I am a writer. I am a cook. I am a seamstress. I am a photographer, a painter, a sculpture, a comedian, an advocate.

I’m not sure about all of you, but in 40 years when I look back on my life I want to be able to define myself, and what I did or tried to do. I don’t want those lines to be blurry—I want them clear and concise and without a doubt. I was a/an __________ something. Maybe that dash will be filled with wife, mother, friend or maybe it will be filled with something else like encourager, thinker, writer or chef — who knows. I can’t tell the future but I can help direct my present. I hope that I choice wisely, have the courage to try, to take risks and have the strength to accept rejection, I hope that I never give up, never settle and never decided that blurry lines and lots of hobbies can take the place of hard-work, dedication and knowing myself

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” – M. Scott Peck


So, here is a big hello from Santa Fe! 

We have officially been here for 9 days, and what a busy 9 days it has been. Here is a peak into the past 9 days for me… (if your interested of course!) 

Within the first 24 hours of arriving I had a 4 hour job interview and Seth and I found a house.

Within the first 48 hours of arriving I had 2 job interviews and we found a house, signed a lease, and moved all of our stuff into it.

In the first 4 days I had 4 job interviews from 3 different places.

Just over a week of being here I had 5 job interviews from 3 different places, drug test, two job offers and got health insurance!!

 It’s been crazy but a good kind of crazy, I heard some great news today from my top* job but its not official-official yet so I think I’ll hold off on sharing that till I get the final word. While, I feel completely exhausted and drained I also feel so grateful for what has happened over the past 9 days. Before we left Louisiana I was SO anxious and worried and almost fearful of what was to come.

I personally couldn’t have asked for a better situation once getting here, while it has been busy and very ‘full’ — so many things are falling into place and I feel like all the little pieces are coming together. I keep thinking to myself ‘it’s destiny’ at least for now anyway. 

I keep thinking about the Meet Joe Black scene where they are in the helicopter and Anthony Hopkins says “who knows, lighting could strike”. I can’t help but think that sometimes in life we just end up in the right place and the right time. I think it is actually a rare thing that comes and goes, not a constant life occurrence. It’s experiences like this and moments like this that help remind us what hope looks like. I often think of hope as this lofty feeling, one that I can’t really explain and one that I’m not really sure that I have ever truly experienced. But, over the past 9 days I have felt like I’ve seen hope every day… and it’s honestly not really what I’ve expected the lofty emotion/feeling to be. It has been met with alot of sleepless nights, alot of long conversations, of acting and preparing to be in situations a little out of my comfort zone, its been met with anxiety and grumpiness and the need to just be alone- but all in all I’d say hope is a beautiful thing, it keeps us going when everything else would say to give up. I’d almost say that hope is so inhuman, its not selfish its not anxious, its not worried, its not moody… so while I was feeling VERY human, and very selfish/anxious/worried/and moody- somehow I was able to just let it go, to shake it off- to move on.  

Anyway, its a special day when you get to greet hope face to face, and I feel lucky to do so. I hope that I can store up the experiences and ‘hope’ of the past 9 days and recall them on days where I will completely forget what hope is, what it looks like, and how impact-full it can really be.