how to deal with anger and not burst into tears.

posted on: September 17, 2014


i was thinking of the word anger and what it really means. like, what does it mean to really be angry? a common definition relays the feeling to annoyance and displeasure. that seems right, i do feel both of those things while ‘angry’ but why do we feel that way towards others or situations, why do we care? i did a little follow up and when we express/feel anger we are using the limbic system in the brain and not the cerebral cortex. the cerebral cortex is the thinking part of our brain while the limbic system is basically our emotional center.


when we experience life around us our brains send that incoming data to our amygdala- it’s there that it is decided if it gets sent to our emotional centers or to our cerebral cortex. if any of the incoming data triggers an emotional response the decision to move to the cerebral cortex is overridden an the information is kept in our limbic system (emotional center).


when this happens that part of the brain feels hijacked and a flood of hormones  are released- this causes a person to move into flight or fight mode. it can take on average 20 minutes before a person can become calm again.

WOW. i’m not sure if i knew this stuff before and have forgotten or if i am just learning it now- but this totally makes me want to deal with (and feel more capable of dealing with) any and all of my emotional triggers, so that minor daily things don’t send my body into fight or flight mode.

10 big emotional triggers that even marketing teams try to attack or attract us with are:

1. fear          6. competition

2. guilt         7. instant gratification

3. trust         8. leadership

4. value        9. trend-setting

5. belonging       10. time


while i was taking a close look at this information i felt more empowered that i am capable of stopping anger before it goes to far. i hate the way anger makes me feel and often times i could go on and on in circles with it finding it hard to let go. i feel empowered to be aware if someone or something is trying to make me feel one of those 10 ways- to sit back analyze what kind of place that is coming from (healthy or not) and stop it from triggering an emotional response.


it’s ‘cool’ for me to realize that there are points in our accepting and processing of life where we can choose to help ourselves, to be mindful (now that word makes so much more sense) and not to send our bodies and mind into hyperdrive.


the other thing we need to be mindful of is not using our ‘triggers’ as an excuse and not allowing them to turn us into victims of situations. for this i think it’s supers important to be aware but not engrossed in our triggers/emotions.


“our brains create powerful associations between things that hurt us and whatever happened to be occurring when we got hurt.” Martha Beck

so our triggers help explain not excuse.


“it makes us responsible for recognizing triggering situations so we can change our unconscious reactions.” Martha Beck


today after thinking, reading and writing about this mindfulness has taken on a whole new and better understanding for me. it was as if a light bulb went of ‘like whoa… it all makes more sense now’. i now feel so much more capable to try and master my anger, even anxiety with mindfulness. i a committing myself to start by repeating these loving-kindness phrases whenever anything comes up.

“may i be healthy. may i be happy. may i be free of suffering.” I’m confident that over time extending kindness to myself in emotional moments will help me reduce unwanted emotions that can lead me into more hard core anxiety.








posted on: September 15, 2014

As I have mentioned before I am a pretty anxious person and have been dealing with it more intensely in the past several years.

I wanted to to share tonight about how I have been handling it as of late… acupuncture.


Acupuncture is sort of a crazy thing because you don’t really know how it works or why but it does- and for stress/anxiety it has helped me tremendously.

Right now you could say I am having a ’20 something life crisis’ and going through alot of work related transition. I’ve also been informed of something called ‘Saturn’s Return’ to either add to the list or help explain all of is chaos. This lack of stability normally would be grounds for me to…. break now utterly and completely with stress, worry and anxiety. But I’m not. I would attribute that at least mostly to acupuncture.

When I go to acupuncture it feels like my body is able to release alot of negative ‘static’. That might sound odd but it’s the best way I can explain it. It feels like all the anxiety is static and acupuncture just is a way that lets it all go. It’s pretty amazing actually.

I think more realistically it helps re-set my para synthetic system to help my body not be in flight for flight mode all the time.

Anyway, dealing with anxiety is trivial to our health. Since I have been able to actually get ride of some of mine I’ve found the importance of doing so- I can really feel such a difference in my physical and mental state when I am able to properly get rid of my anxiety. Because of this I wanted to share my experience with you and tell you that my whole life up to this point I NEVER thought I would be able to even do acupuncture because I have a very real fear of needles. BUT I can do it and literally if I can do it then really anyone can. The worst of is feel sorta like a sting for like 2 seconds and then that pain is gone but for the most part the needles don’t create any pain, it’s just certain spots where that sting like pain can happen.

So if you are able go check out acupuncture and if you live in Santa Fe and need a recommendation let me know!


P.S. right now my anxiety free plan includes acupuncture, cat and dog therapy :)




About Alex

posted on: September 8, 2014

When I thought about who I wanted to write about for my series ‘people who inspire me’ I was a little blocked. So finally I decided to do Meryl Streep. Mostly this decision was made because there is a quote from her that is floating around the internet right now. Here it is.

“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.”

It’s a great quote and while I do still admire Meryl I think I will save her for another time.

Last week I saw a move called ‘About Alex’ – half way through the movie I decided that this was/is who inspires me. People who make moves like this one. Come to find out we got to do a Q/A via Skype with the 28 year old director (Jesse Zwick who was both the writer/director) after the movie. I was beyond impressed. This was his first time directing and he just did a stellar job. Not to mention that feeling you get when you realize someone is your age give or take five years and accomplishing much larger goals than you are. Or in a less cynical way they are really killing it making their dreams come true.

Back to the story, the movie itself was full of emotion and real life humor. It’s comedic timing was impeccable… truly. So I’m going to pitch it now… If you have the chance GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

I thought it as just fantastic and was something that both moved me and inspired me. People are comparing it to the move ‘The Big Chill’ but it’s just so relevant for twenty somethings that I would literally scream off the rooftops for them to see it, you know if I wasn’t super introverted and shy.

There is just something so cool about people in there 20′s and early 30′s really just going for their dreams and hitting it out of the park. I think that is what inspired me the most… the fact that it can be done. That some people succeed at it. It rustles something up inside of me, my creative self that doesn’t really know which direction to go. It makes me want to be more focused and just give it my best effort.

Cheers to that I guess,

Oh- here is the trailer


Hello September!

posted on: September 1, 2014

Hi friends, it’s September! Like most people I’m a little astonished that it’s here already and honestly do have a slight anticipation for fall. I thought it would be fun to share my September playlist with you all in case anyone was looking for some new/old songs to add to their on collection.

I don’t create a playlist every month but try to do it at least once a season.
Here is my September list- please have in mind that I recently attended a bluessgrass concert and spent a few days in the mountains. This play list is pretty folky so if that’s your thing cool and if it’s not my apologies!

1. Lilac Wine covered by Miley Cyrus
2. 21st of May by Nickel Creek
3. Don’t think Twice, It’s All Right covered by Joan Baez
4. Dance Dance covered by Mumford and Sons
5. Dear John covered by Norah Jones and Ryan Adams
6. Live and Die by The Avett Brothers
7. Keep it Loose, Keep it Tight by Amos Lee
8. Fare Thee Well (Dink’s Song) by Oscar Isaac, Marcus Mumford
9. To Ohio by The Low Anthem
10. Heart’s on Fire by Passenger
11. Trouble by American Authors
12. Ramona by Night Beds
13. Budapest by George Ezra
14. Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show
15. No Concern of Yours by Punch Brothers
16. Landslide covered by Dixie Chicks
17. I’ll Go On Downtown covered by Cory Morrow and Tanya Cargill
18. Three Days by Pat Green
19. Funtimes in Babylon by Father John Misty
20. Sun, Arise by Phosphorescent
21. Man on Fire by Edward Sharpe and the Magentic Zeros
22. Lady On the Water by Blizen Trapper
23. Hey Doll by Deer Tick
24. Latch-Acoustic by Sam Smith
25. If I Had a Boat by James Vincent McMorrow
26. Come Out of the Woods by Matthew and the Atlas
27. Shine by Benjamin Francis Leftwich
28. FortyFive by Bootstraps

(P.S. I linked the best youtube versions of the songs on the artists name, I found all the songs but one- enjoy!)

I created the playlist on our Spotify account so if you are on there feel free to just listen there. I tried to put the songs in an order that was pleasant for listening but feel free to just try out one you haven’t heard before or something you’ve forgotten about.
On Spotify: sethcolby10 and the playlist is titled September

Like I’ve said before music is magic and when I take the time to make playlists for myself it’s like a nice little gift I can keep giving myself all month.


birthday reflections

posted on: August 21, 2014

A few days ago I turned 27. That could either sound old or young to you but to me it’s old(ish).

My whole life I’ve wanted to be 28 so I’m happy that I’m almost there. I’ve realized that as time goes by and the years keep coming I never ‘arrive’ at an age or a stage of life.

I used to imagine that’s what growing up was like, super solid life stages that made you happy and smiley all the time. Thanks shows like Boy Meets Works and Growing Pains but it’s not like that at all.

Growing up is hard for me because I try really hard to be the most put together and responsible person I can be. That gets a little exhausting.

On paper I understand the idea that just wanting the next thing doesn’t = happiness but it’s hard for my mind to grasp. I’m allowing myself to do things out of order this year and to remind myself to live up to my own expectations not others.

I hope to trust myself a bit more with that this year. I hope to really come into my own, take risks and be okay in that middle ground. I read this affirmation today that I hope to remember each day this year- “I choose to see this delay as a bigger yes on the way.”

Just one more quote and I’m done,

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” – John Lennon

I love this, it’s the first time I’ve read it and it just is something I will be referring back to for my 27th year. I think to often I get scared and retreat a little from life and that leads me to feel bad about myself. But if you think about it, there is nothing to be scared of…. That’s the whole point of life to figure it out and you know I would just rather do that in a loving and passionate way then from a place if fear. So, until next year on August 18 I hope to reject the fear I feel of life, of rejection and of not ‘arriving’. I hope to accept more patience, thoughtfulness and dedication to myself and my loved ones.
I’ve apparently waited my whole life for 28 so I hope to arrive there a more loving and self accepting person.


Farmers Market fun on last saturday, loved the very mini Zozobra they had out and about. Everyone else seemed to

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^^Had to snap a few shots of the animals, they were so sweet last weekend- I think they new it was my birthday!^^

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Loved spending the afternoon at Ten Thousand Waves… spa day anyone?

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^^On my actual birthday I asked if Seth would make me dinner and we could just spend time at home, it was perfect!^^

I asked for, poached cod with fresh herbs and caramelized mushrooms/potatoes with a kale salad. Seth really is such a great cook and it all came out perfect!


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snack ready chickpeas

posted on: August 13, 2014

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I’m a big snack person, I’m actually a big food person and it’s hard for me to make it through the day without snacks. For that reason I have a long list of some of my ultimate go-to snack foods.

One of my favorite snacks would have to be roasted/baked chick peas. Have you ever had them? To me they are a healthier version of a french fry or a potato chip. Crunchy, slaty, savory… delicious.

***With chickpeas it’s important to drain and rinse them before roasting.


  • 2 (16 ounce) cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans)
  • 1 1/2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2 tsps sesame seeds

Here’s what to do:

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  2. Drain/rinse chickpeas and dry them off
  3. Roast for 10 minutes then stir them around with a spatula
  4. Roast for 10 more minutes, then remove from the oven and drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and garlic powder and sesame seeds- stir around until evenly coated with the oil and seasonings
  5. Roast for 20 more minutes
  6. Turn oven off/crack door- let the chickpeas sit on the pan in the oven for 30 minutes

I normally sprinkle a little more seasoning on after they come out of the oven too. I keep mine in a Kerr jar and snack on a handful in the afternoon. When I make this recipe (2 cans) it will normally last 1 week with both me and my husband snacking on them.




summer beauty

posted on: August 10, 2014

well friends i’m starting to sense that summer is coming to an end, there are a few crunch leaves on the ground, the hollyhocks and starting to droop and the temperature is dropping just a bit more at night. it’s crazy to me that in the next month or so we will see a new season come — like where did summer go?

i remember being 7 or 11 or… 13 and feeling like the days were so long and that a boring afternoon was an eternity. i miss that, the stillness that comes with boring, long, eternities of an afternoon. when i think about it i picture it as trying to breath once you get off the plane in nola, it’s like a cloud of stillness and dampness and for a moment it takes your breath away.

when i’m busy i don’t feel like i let things take my breath away because i’m hurrying from one thing to the next and i don’t give my self the chance to experience that feeling. the last few weeks i made a promise to myself to change that and i’ve been trying to appreciate time, space, stillness for what it is and it’s so inspiring (for me at least). the calm that comes to mind when you let yourself be bored for an afternoon and let your imagination wonder or find the wonder in little things left unnoticed. it’s because of this that i’m a little sad to see summer go this year. while fall has always been my favorite i feel like this year i truly experience the joy of summer.

cheers to that, here are some pictures from my summer. i hope yours was full of some boring moments, some fun moments, some sun and some great food.




the struggle is real.

posted on: August 5, 2014

hi friends,

i was writing a bit in my journal last night and when i stopped to reflect on what i had written i felt like sharing it with you the interweb. i wanted to share it because i feel like the feeling of ‘smallness’ is something that we all share from time to time and it’s such a perplexing feeling to me…


“i feel sad today, i feel alot of weight and pressure to do, be and to succeed. sometimes i feel like our idea of success is so skewed that it’s no wonder i feel sad. but i don’t sit well with sadness, it’s an emotion that my body detests. when it comes around things go haywire. i turn grouchy and short, detached and unable to eat anything.

but, back to today… i am feeling sad because in lots of little ways i feel like i am letting everyone down. i start to worry about big things, little things, real things, made up things- everything. i start to feel very small.

when i feel this way it’s hard to be present, which is the thing i need most right now. i’m mostly stuck ridiculing myself for the past and left extremely anxious for the future. with a deep breath in i am trying to inhale the good and exhale the bad. it doesn’t really work.

one of the only things that works is the fact that i know and believe that feelings are fleeting. they come and they go. they are here one moment and gone the next. so, my hope lies in that, the fickleness of feelings. my hope lies in the fact that constant sadness is fiction and the knowledge that tomorrow could hold any number of things.”


i was reminded by some these quotes, by Cormac McCarthy one of my favorite authors, these are 2 quotes i reflect on often.

“He said that those who have endured some misfortune will always be set apart but that it is just that misfortune which is their gift and which is their strength.”
― Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses: All The Pretty Horses

The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exist without our knowledge than with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze, so that you shall not lose your way. For existence has its own order and that no man’s mind can compass, that mind itself being but a fact among others.”
― Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian


here’s to feeling small in a big world and remembering that sometimes it’s all in our head.




Texas Redhead

posted on: August 1, 2014

Am I right?

I’d like to introduce my take on a French 75. A traditional French 75 is a champagne cocktail that’s mixed with gin and lemon. I mixed mine with both but added some muddled strawberries for a slightly fruiter taste. In my recipe the muddled strawberries take the place of simple syrup.

The Texas Red Head Cocktail from Andrea Jane on Vimeo.

Here’s what to do:
1 lemon
1.5 mrs of gin (chilled)
1-2 tablespoon muddled strawberry juice
about 2oz of champagne (or enough to fill the glass)

From Rim:
honey powder (you should be able to find this at any spice shop)

** amounts above are for 1 drink.

First, use a little lemon juice and rim your glass with the honey powder and sugar mixture
Second, add your muddled strawberries to the glass (if you don’t want fruit chunks make sure that you only use the juice; I personally like having the little pieces of fruit but it’d be easy to just use the juice too)
Third, you’ll want to shake the lemon juice and gin in a tumbler then add to the glass
Fourth, fill the glass with your chilled champagne

Cheers to you this weekend, have all the fun you can manage.


local love: santa fe. farmers market

posted on: July 30, 2014

I’ve mentioned this before but one of my favorite things in the world are farmers markets and one of my favorite things about Santa Fe is its farmers market.

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Santa Fe’s farmers market has really grown into a great market that highlights so many of the local farms and businesses around town. At this point in the summer the market is totally up and going and they’ve even started roasting green chile! If you are a native to New Mexico you know that sweet, sweet smell of roasting green chile in the air it’s seriously like heaven. If you are not a native to New Mexico then you’re kind of missing out and you should visit us late July-September so that you can experience it.

It’s the kind of smell that when you walk outside and the air is a little crisp and the wind brings the scent of the roasting chile you just totally crave it… instantly, on anything, by itself it just makes you need some asap.

I’m hungry just thinking and typing about it.




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Anyway, our farmers market is 3 times a week: Tuesdays in the railyard  8am-1pm, southside 3pm-6pm and Saturdays in the railyard from 7-12pm

It’s the place you can find me almost every Saturday morning in the summer, picking up fresh lettuces, potatoes, onions, green chile, sage sticks… honey- you name it, it’s there and it’s just so delicious. If your local I hope I’ve inspired you to get out and enjoy the market and if you are visiting add the market to your ‘to do list’ it honestly won’t disappoint plus we are all trying to support being ‘local’ right?

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